Hi folks! It’s been awhile since I posted. The absence was extraordinarily enlightening, incredibly eventful with a gambit of emotions. Many dreams have come to realization in the most unexpected ways. And sadly, I have come to understand my decades of personal denial.
First, the good stuff! I now know the love I have timidly searched since Cindy Miles broke my heart in seventh grade. Carey must be an angel or I’m dreaming. This phenomenal woman touches tracheotomy tube and begins to sob. Through her cascading tears and quivering voice I hear thank you for the hell I have endured, thank you for choosing to live and thank you for loving me. I feel for anyone in a relationship that does not experience daily this depth of love and devotion. Thank you my beautiful intelligent compassionate passionate green eyed country girl love of my life! I love you endlessly Carey.
I don’t mind saying the last 20+ have been hell with dashes of happiness mixed in too rarely. My endurance has been tapped out on multiple occasions and death was a practical solution and comforting thought far too often, but my unyielding stubbornness kept me around for the grand prize. Through all the hurt and loss my gut urged me to see the next sunrise. I had lost myself and defined by this damn disease. I am thrilled to report I feel like the person I was prior to the diagnosis. I much rather make a juvenile remark and belly laugh than consider the path of destruction this country in on without means of directional change. I am experiencing again laughter until it hurts. Yes, ALS remains a daily pain in the ass, but it isn’t who I am and who this family is any longer. I’m back and here to stay.
My dream since earliest memories was to become a family man with a loving wife and a home full of loud active children. I was certain poor decisions and severe disability had ended any hope of fruition, but refusing to fold I’m living my dream! I am the father of eight now, six actively. Carey has entrusted me to love and parent Ali, Chelsea, Hannah, Gavin, Chloe and Rickie. It’s functional dysfunction without a doubt. We have enough baggage to make Hartsfield’s lost luggage look like some rural county airport in Montana, but we have unmatched love and appreciation to smooth out the bumps. I parent the same as I always have now validated. It is unbelievably wonderful to have children from adult to prepubescent crave time with their parents. Unfortunately until now a foreign experience for me. If I’m dreaming please do not disturb my slumber.
I have not had time to work on my autobiography, but definitely adding worthwhile chapters. My time has been consumed home schooling a fourth grader, likely the most rewarding experience of my life. Rickie’s progress is astounding since January! I understand why some educators are passionate about teaching. Yes, I too hope I’m smarter than a fifth grader come August. We are home schooling two high schoolers too. You see, in county we reside and I was once proud of, the schools have students having sex in occupied classrooms and gang rapes in the building. My precious gifts will never be exposed to that. To my local friends with children, my kids desperately need social interaction, please help us. They are great children that I’m busting shirt buttons with pride for them.
On a side note, I did write quite by accident a tall tale for children. It will be available on Amazon in a couple of months. My younger Hannah is working on the illustrations presently. She is enormously talented and the character has come to life. The book will sell on her artwork alone. Since I have the mind of a child I hope to make it a series. I will keep you posted and will be forever grateful if you help me spread the word. Rickie finished up Tuesday and I took a few days off to recover, but SCHOOL ‘S OUT FOR THE SUMMER!!! I will return to writing today. I will give periodic updates of children falling through ceilings, one saying he wants to be a Communist intending to say comedian already manufactured his first laugh, releasing king snakes in the attic and crawl to eliminate a rodent problem due to the neighborhood deer we feed, Chelsea transferring to my beloved Georgia and this incredible woman I dearly love giving me her hand on a grassy knoll in Locust Grove June 25th, etc. Life is great if you decide to take a chance and seize it. Have a great day! dj