You don’t have to tear off many calendar pages before experiencing hurt and disappointment. That is a certainty during our visit on this big blue marble. Much of it originates from decisions one makes sometimes poor in nature, but most often with the best intentions. Other hurtful transgressions are beyond control, the most damaging are the inexplicable acts of others on the innocent. All deteriorate trust.
I am very uncomfortable always referring to myself, but it’s the story I know best. My fiercely independent lifestyle prior to this seated journey did not lend it itself to fostering deep meaningful interpersonal relationships. The truth is when things encroached a little I was making tracks. When Lou knocked the count was in the pitcher’s favor.
This damn disease has taken away nearly everything I held precious. Others made decisions that were more devastating than the illness. Trust? What trust?
My heart felt nothing. It was a survival tool, but such a perfected waste of treasured time. Sadly too many years elapsed in this state. I had lived life fully in my activities, it came a time to experience life completely before regret was not an option. Since deciding to live with an exposed heart hurt and disappointment have not vanished, but I feel life now the good and bad. I say this with all sincerity, I’m sorry it took ALS to reach this destination, but I would not trade lives.
Enough about me. If you’re living in a bubble as a result of life events self inflicted or not shake it off like a wet dog and get busy living. To heal often the medication tastes awful. Forgive yourself, forgive others and get back in the game. Thanks so much for reading. Have a great day! dj
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
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"Since deciding to live with an exposed heart hurt and disappointment have not vanished, but I feel life now the good and bad" So happy that you've decided to take the good and the bad with relationships...we all have to take that chance.
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage to do so, it can't be easy. Thanks for showing your vulnerability, and in doing so helping others!
David,
ReplyDeleteI applaud you for letting all of us in!
"My heart felt nothing. It was a survival tool, but such a perfected waste of treasured time."
That is beautiful and sad all at the same time...I'm sure many of us have felt the same exact way. I'm so happy that you're letting others back in! We can all shake it off like a wet dog!! Life is too darn short!!
Wow, where did the other one come from!!!! I thought it was gone! Oh well, you can tell I loved this post!!!
ReplyDeleteExposing yourself does open you up for hurt but think of the possibilities. Remember "It is better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all"
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